It's pretty amazing that I always seem to find my way back to this blog, I dont know how or why the feeling over comes me to write some more in my online diary, but alas, here I am. Well I am in a new location once again, and I am still not sure if its for the best or not. Though I am certain that I am completely tired of packing up and moving about every few months. Hopefully in the end I will have helped to accomplish something for my family and not just myself.
I am currently in Augusta, Georgia living with my cousin, her husband, FOUR kids! They arent bad, just... you know... kids. I still have not found a job and it is really starting to take a toll on me, I really just need to start working to give me something to do as well as some income to start putting my life back together! To tell you the truth, I have let my life get completely out of hand. My finances are in a complete wreck and it is a bit tough to realize how much I am in debt right now. As soon as I can start working though I will finally start focusing on resolving ALL OF IT instead of ignoring anything having to do with money. Once I can get a grip on some of it and can some what breathe again I will be able to start looking into getting back into college and getting started on my goal of becoming an R.N. I have three things I will be focusing on, My money (lack of), My Mind (college), and My Body (losing weight) once I start working that should not be too hard, right?
Other than all that serious personal shit, I have been thinking of legitimately giving YouTube a shot as in make videos regularly and see if anyone would care about what I have to say. In real life I am great at making friends and talking/listening to people why wouldnt it translate to online people? The only thing is that I will have to get over my fear of seeing/listening to myself on video, I feel like I am just weird and fat and people will dismiss me or worse, ridicule me. Then I think FUCK IT! wont hurt to try, what is the worst that could happen? So soon I will start working on content, I already have a few ideas but not sure how my execution will be... But fuck it is almost 4 am so maybe I should close the laptop and come back after some sleep... I wish I could talk into the camera as naturally as typing out text... Well until next time...
Peace. ☮
Seriously if ANYONE reads this feel free to leave a comment or something I love talking to people about ANYTHING haha
Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotion. Show all posts
Friday, August 9, 2013
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Roller Coaster of Emotion
Wow... Well... Um... Yea...
I have internet again...
I also have gotten some what of a promotion... (making more money)
My dad had a heart attack and could have died this past Monday... (He is still alive thankfully)
So yea my week has been pretty up and down, but hey I am back here blogging again! Yay and now I am thinking of Vlogging again, now that I have internet again! I also have not worked in a week which feels pretty weird cause I took 4 days off for the MW3 LAN that some friends and I had. It kicked off with a terrible and unexpected start.
I was getting ready to leave, getting my stuff in order and my dad asked when I was leaving and I told him like 45 min and he asked me to check on him before I left, he said that he had gotten "overheated". Well like 10 min later he called me back into the living room and told me to call my mom cause he felt like he was having a heart attack, so I did as told and called her of course she started freaking out then my dad told me that I needed to call 911. So i hung up with my frantic mother and called, as I was being talked through the situation my dad called my mom to reassure her and so then we waited for the ambulance. My dad is so amazing, he not only recognized the symptoms right away but when I was looking for aspirin he knew that he needed "low dose" aspirin that was on his night stand. Anyway when the ambulance got there they loaded him up and told me what hospital they were taking him to, I then relayed the message to my mother and took off for the aforementioned hospital. Now I was fairly calm considering through out the ordeal of calling 911 and waiting for the ambulance but when I was on my to the hospital it hit me... and hard, that there was a good chance I might lose my father today and I just started balling. I just do not know what I would have done if he had not of made it, I mean he is my (cliche) hero, the man that taught me everything I know and how to even be a man, the one I have modeled my life after, I am an extension of him. I cried all the way there and even more once I got there and saw my mom, grandma, and aunt. Then my mom told me that the paramedics told her that he had gotten there just in time, I lost it... He had a blockage in one of his main arteries and he was in the middle of a heart attack when he arrived at the hospital. We had to wait for awhile and were told that he was going into the Cath lab where the would check to see where the blockage was and how much damage had been done from the heart attack. During this my sister and her boyfriend started home from Watchula?. So after a little while the doctor came in and said that it was a minor heart attack and not damage had been done and they were able to insert a couple stints in the artery to free up the blockage so no major surgery. He also told us that after about 30 minutes we would be able to see him in the I.C.U. they originally said two at a time so of course it was my mother and I and as soon as I saw him I broke down again, just to see him alive after knowing there was that chance that I would not have gotten to, it was too much... We hung out for awhile then they let my aunt and grandma back to see him before they left and shortly after Katie and Clayton got there. We all just hung out for awhile just happy we were all still here...
It is getting late...
Night...
Peace. ☮
I have internet again...
I also have gotten some what of a promotion... (making more money)
My dad had a heart attack and could have died this past Monday... (He is still alive thankfully)
So yea my week has been pretty up and down, but hey I am back here blogging again! Yay and now I am thinking of Vlogging again, now that I have internet again! I also have not worked in a week which feels pretty weird cause I took 4 days off for the MW3 LAN that some friends and I had. It kicked off with a terrible and unexpected start.
I was getting ready to leave, getting my stuff in order and my dad asked when I was leaving and I told him like 45 min and he asked me to check on him before I left, he said that he had gotten "overheated". Well like 10 min later he called me back into the living room and told me to call my mom cause he felt like he was having a heart attack, so I did as told and called her of course she started freaking out then my dad told me that I needed to call 911. So i hung up with my frantic mother and called, as I was being talked through the situation my dad called my mom to reassure her and so then we waited for the ambulance. My dad is so amazing, he not only recognized the symptoms right away but when I was looking for aspirin he knew that he needed "low dose" aspirin that was on his night stand. Anyway when the ambulance got there they loaded him up and told me what hospital they were taking him to, I then relayed the message to my mother and took off for the aforementioned hospital. Now I was fairly calm considering through out the ordeal of calling 911 and waiting for the ambulance but when I was on my to the hospital it hit me... and hard, that there was a good chance I might lose my father today and I just started balling. I just do not know what I would have done if he had not of made it, I mean he is my (cliche) hero, the man that taught me everything I know and how to even be a man, the one I have modeled my life after, I am an extension of him. I cried all the way there and even more once I got there and saw my mom, grandma, and aunt. Then my mom told me that the paramedics told her that he had gotten there just in time, I lost it... He had a blockage in one of his main arteries and he was in the middle of a heart attack when he arrived at the hospital. We had to wait for awhile and were told that he was going into the Cath lab where the would check to see where the blockage was and how much damage had been done from the heart attack. During this my sister and her boyfriend started home from Watchula?. So after a little while the doctor came in and said that it was a minor heart attack and not damage had been done and they were able to insert a couple stints in the artery to free up the blockage so no major surgery. He also told us that after about 30 minutes we would be able to see him in the I.C.U. they originally said two at a time so of course it was my mother and I and as soon as I saw him I broke down again, just to see him alive after knowing there was that chance that I would not have gotten to, it was too much... We hung out for awhile then they let my aunt and grandma back to see him before they left and shortly after Katie and Clayton got there. We all just hung out for awhile just happy we were all still here...
It is getting late...
Night...
Peace. ☮
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