(Insert Title Here)....

I couldn't think of a title so what I have there should be suffice until I think of one but I doubt I will cause there was really nothing significant enough that happened to me to make a clever and witty title out of.

I really don't have much to say today.

So today I first woke up when my mom left to go somewhere then I went back to bed until about 11:30 when I finally got out of bed I noticed that I had a missed call and it was an unfamiliar number I also noticed that person left a voice mail. I usually just call the person back before listening to the v.mail but I thought I am tired I will just listen. The guy on the other end said that he was calling from the Super Target at CoconutPoint Mall and asked if was interested in a job. I immediately got excited so I called back and got in touch with a manager after a short conversation we agreed on a 9:00 A.M. interview, which is really early for me but I will deal. You might remember yesterday I said that I would be starting training today but changes were made because tonight is the busiest of the week due to the live music that plays on Tuesdays, which they call Unplugged. Well anyway I got a call from Jo Ann the manager and she insisted that I come in tomorrow when its not so busy, I agree that its a better idea. So tomorrow will be very busy between an interview at 9 and training at 4 so I will for sure have lots to blog about tomorrow night. Other than those calls the only other things I did was catch up on Heroes and it was a Fucking(I try to keep this blog PG but it was a good episode) awesome episode there was a lot answers but also more questions were posed. I finished the episode just in time for the debate(I had very high hopes for the entertainment value of this debate) which it came through kinda. McCain was a friggin idiot like he always is and Obama was amazing like he always is. But what made my experience all the better was the constant conversation with Jeremy as we bashed McCain and praised Obama all the way through the debate(its so much funner when you have someone else there to make fun of someone, if you do it by yourself you come of sad and weird). I also was texting Lauren O'dea through out the debate, it was very interesting because she is a Republican(AGGHH!) so I had to try to control myself and not get mad or mean about it, even though she kept calling Obama an idiot, I can't even understand how anybody could see that but I guess I am just that far left. Now I am writing this blog and needing to get some sleep because I have to get up earlier than 9 for the first since high school.

Oh and I as I write this I am listening to Shinedown's newest C.D.(the one with Devour on it)<---(that was for Eric LOL) and it is really good and its getting me even more excited for the concert on Dec. 5(I can't fucking wait) So tomorrow hopefully will be a long blog cause I know how much you like reading these HaHa.

So until next time.



Peace Out!

Waiting...Waiting...Waiting....

I didn't write a blog last night and I apologize, but I have been a little down. I have been waiting to start my job for almost a week and it has seemed so much longer than that. Ever since I was informed that I got the job I couldn't help but thinking about my all my future plans like: being home alone for thanksgiving and finally getting away from my family for a week, and black Friday with Jeremy and Eric, getting a new laptop and an Xbox 360, and then eventually saving up some money to move out and away from this draining environment. As the week progressed and I finally realized that I didn't have the money quite yet and that I was still stuck in this house like a prisoner I started getting depressed. With the exception of hanging out with my cousin, that's how I have felt all weekend... Drained of all life and excitement. As I look at the clock and see that it is technically Tuesday, the day I start training I get a little excited and happy but not as happy as I will be when I start making tips and start receiving cash almost every other day :D. But until then I am still stuck in this black hole of a house. I also find my self not wanting to write my blog because I honestly do absolutely nothing except wake up really late and just watch T.V. or surf the internet and listen to music. But hopefully all that will change with the introduction of my job into my everyday life. While I am on the topic of not writing blogs... Jeremy what the HELL write your blog if you stop I will have to come over to your house and force you(Chris help me out we don't want him to be like Ryan). Also Jeremy if your reading this, the first thing I am doing when I fill my gas tank is coming to your house for a couple days(If its alright with your parents) because I gotta get out of this house. It is 1 A.M. and I am tired not really but I have work tomorrow(wow its been a long time since I said that) and hopefully after tomorrow I will be in a much happier mood and will have lots to blog about. So until that time....

Peace Out!

A court is in session, a verdict is in
No appeal on the docket today
Just my own sin
The walls are cold and pale
The cage made of steel
Screams fill the room
Alone I drop and kneel
Silence now the sound
My breath the only motion around
Demons cluttering around
My face showing no emotion
Shackled by my sentence
Expecting no return
Here there is no penance
My skin begins to burn

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

I hear a thunder in the distance
See a vision of a cross
I feel the pain that was given
On that sad day of loss
A lion roars in the darkness
Only he holds the key
A light to free me from my burden
And grant me life eternally

Should have been dead
On a Sunday morning
Banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time{repeat}

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

[Guitar break]

I cry out to G**
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison
I cry out to G**
Seeking only his decision
Gabriel stands and confirms
I've created my own prison

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
(And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one

(And I said oh) So I held my head up high
Hiding hate that burns inside
Which only fuels their selfish pride
((And I said oh) We're all held captive
Out from the sun
A sun that shines on only some
We the meek are all in one) I created I created
My own prison

Should've been dead on a Sunday morning
banging my head
No time for mourning
Ain't got no time

As an Atheist I hold the right to censor the G word, if you have a problem with that than FUCK YOU!

Peace Out Again!

I Am Back And As Tired As Ever!!/Fuck iTunes!!!

So last night I left around 7:30 P.M. as my last post said. I headed down to Naples to chill with my cousin. So I am just gonna dive into the events that followed.

So I got down to my aunt's house around 8 P.M. to find that my cousin was playing basketball with a few other people that I didn't know, I waited until they were done with there game and then joined in myself. After about half an hour of playing we decided we were all done and my cousin and I walked back to the house. We really do much except talk and catch up on a whole assortment of things. At around 4:00 A.M. we started watching Criss Angel: Mindfreak Ondemand, which got us to 5:00 A.M. at that time we realized that we needed some sleep. We set our alarms for 10:30 because I had to be home for something I don't know what, but anyway we finally got up around 11 and my cousin Danny called his mom and informed us that everyone was meeting up at my grandmas house. We waited until we heard from our moms when they left so we made our way up there(we also had some fishing poles to fish the pond behind my grandmas) When we got there we talked to our parents and then finally made our way back to try and catch something. No Luck nothing was caught but I honestly didn't spend much time fishing I was having too much fun with my baby cousin. Then I went inside and talked to the familia as well as watched some college football. At around 3 people started to head out so I thought it was a good idea too. But before I could leave my Aunt Linda asked if I could go to her house and help with her gigantic mattress that she wanted to turn around. So after that was done and after I got home I jumped in the shower caught up on a lot of surfing and social networking. And then I found out that after I updated my iTunes it completely wiped everything on my iTunes so I had to totally rebuild my iTunes. Needless to say I am not to happy right now. It is 8:30 P.M. now and I need some sleep so I am going to go in my room watch Kimbo Slice and then some SNL then pass out:D

And hopefully I can meet up with my cousin again to go fishing tomorrow cause I have absolutely nothing else planned except Sunday football.

I am sorry if tonight's blog was short and boring, I think I might be running out of ways to make my boring day seem cool and exciting, maybe I just need some sleep. Well until tomorrow....

Peace Out!

I Got To Go, But Will Be Back Tomorrow!!

Real quick I cant blog tonight because I am going down to Naples to chill with my cousin and aunt and I don't think they have a computer :( but as soon as I get home I will blog about my adventure.

So Good Night and have a Pleasant Tomorrow.


Peace Out!


Oh and if you like bands like Paramore, The Cab, and others of that style I advise you to check out Hey Monday they have a video called Homecoming that is really good on YouTube and it doesn't hurt that the lead singer is HOT (yea she is a girl)

"Me...I'm Rusted and Weathered, Barely Holding Together"

So as I start this blog I realize that there is still light outside and is still the day of the events that I will talk to you about later. There are a couple reasons for the unprecedented time stamp of this blog. One is the fact I wanna get this done before I sit down in front of my T.V. to watch the hopefully entertaining V.P. Debate at 9:00 P.M. tonight. And the other is I wanna be done with this if we have another party chat tonight so I don't have to stay up until 4 finishing it.

I Love Music. Because it always seems to be there when I am down and need to be cheered up.It's there when I am bored and allows me to zone out and do a lot thinking about numerous things. I seem to listen to music in phases, for about a month or two I will be stuck on a band or two or a general style of music until I either get bored and move on to something else or something drastic enough happens in my life to change my mood. In the wake of the past couple days events I have rediscovered a band that I loved back when I was in middle school (late 90's early 00's). There third C.D. was one of the first C.D.s that I had ever received and I listened to it nonstop. When I was young I couldn't comprehend the lyrics like a can now after many life experiences and 18 years of life. After listening to the C.D. and band once again after 8 years or so I realized some of the lyrics almost mirror my exact feelings as of right now in my life. I know that people can and will interpret anything they read or see to somehow fit there life, but I find the references to be uncannily true. Here is an excerpt from the title track song of the C.D. Weathered

I lie awake on a long, dark night
I can't seem to tame my mind
Slings and arrows are killing me inside
Maybe I can't accept the life that's mine
No I can't accept the life that's mine

Simple living is my desperate cry
Been trading love with indifference
yeah it suits me just fine
I try to hold on but I'm calloused to the bone
Maybe that's why I feel alone
Maybe that's why I feel so alone

Me…I'm rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I'm covered with skin that peels and
it just won't heal

The sun shines and I can't avoid the light
I think I'm holding on to life too tight
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Sometimes I feel like giving up
Sometimes I feel like giving up

If you didn't know, the band is Creed. Right now I am listening to this song on itunes and as I hear the lyrics sung with such a gritty voice and can't help to listen intently. You can skip this if you want but I just wanna try to analyze the lyrics according to my life.

I feel that I cant tame my mind cause I am always thinking(usually about anything and everything) I have actually stayed up all night due to too much thinking(I am not sure how many other people go through that). I also think I can't accept this life that's mine because I believe that I deserve more than this life that I have been living so far, I deserve to go to college, have a career, meet someone special, and have a family and die at an old and happy age. I don't want to accept this life of loneliness and utter failure which is why the longer I hang around here in this house the closer I get to the life that I don't want. As you may have gathered from my previous blogs that I am done living like this which plays into the chorus of the song. I am so rusted and weathered from this toxic environment that I have been living in for the past year or so and I am barely holding together. I try to hold on but I am so calloused from it all and that is why I feel so alone in this house it's almost as if I don't fit in and after it all I just feel like giving up. Before I get started on the past 24 hours of my life I will leave you with another excerpt from a song from the Weathered C.D.(don't worry I wont analyze) the song is called Don't Stop Dancing and I think is a beautiful song.

At times life is wicked and I just can't
see the light
A silver lining sometimes isn't enough
To make some wrongs seem right
Whatever life brings
I've been through everything
And now I'm on my knees again

But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many
feel this way

Children don't stop dancing
Believe you can fly
Away…away

At times life's unfair and you know
it's plain to see

I never completed last nights blog but the only I did yesterday was fill out papers for my new job, oh and had a 2hour conversation with Chris, Jeremy, and Malerie. By the end of it, Chris and I were the only ones left so after about 15 minutes or so we decided that we both needed some sleep. I didn't get to bed until around 4:30 A.M. and was promptly woken up at 6:00 A.M. to go take out yard waste UGHH!! but I did it and went right back to sleep and didn't wake up until around noon. I waited around online surfing until 1:00 P.M. At that time I had to be on Bonita Beach Rd. for a drug test. After I got back I played some basketball and did some more surfing online and that is when I started feeling really tired... well i have been tired all day but now my eyelids were screaming CLOSE!! CLOSE!!! so I decided to take a nap for about an hour until both my parents got home simultaneously shortly after they left again to go watch my aunt bowl. So I am left here again by myself(which I like) to write this blog, cook dinner, and entertain myself. But soon the Debate will be on and that will occupy my time until 11:00 P.M. Then I will prob watch some T.V. and wait for a call from Chris.

Wow that was probably my shortest explanation of a days activities since I started this blog.

It's 8:00 now only one more hour.

So until tomorrow......

Peace Out!

I just wanna thank anybody who is an everyday reader(I know my friends are) but if there is anyone who found this blog randomly and for whatever reason read this...

Thank You

The Beginning of A "New Beginning"

Before I get started I just wanted to say that this particular blog might get long, not as long as some of Chris' but probably my longest. The reason is a lot happened today not just physically but mentally. I thought about a lot through out today and I am not even sure I can come close to conveying everything that has gotten my mind running on overdrive. So as I begin I will try my hardest to just let my fingers do the talking that my brain can't.

At the end of last nights blog I said that today would be a New Beginning. At the time of that statement I didn't have a full grasp of what a true New Beginning might consist of and so I thought a lot about it and my present status as of right now and I have come up with something, a plan if you will that will enable me to reach a certain level of happiness with my situation. Cause right now I am far from happy with where I am at right now in my life. I do have certain aspects that seem to be getting better(like the fact that I now have a job) but in general I want so much more for myself than this. First what I believe will be able to garnish the title of a true "New Beginning". So for a new beginning I need to get out this house and away from my family especially from my sister and her whatever Michael Rush who I honestly would love to kill (honestly). I am just completely done with this life and I need a huge change or I fear that I might start to grow away from my family. Lately I just feel like I as an individual do not fit in with my family, I am so different than the rest of my immediate family. I am passionate about politics when my parents could careless. I think about everything from Physics, Religion, Science, History, and the Future of the world among many other things that I doubt many other people care about. I believe that I need a new family (Chris,Jeremy,and Eric I am talking to you) So that is why I decided to stay here in Florida while the rest of my family goes up to Michigan so that I can get a small taste of life by myself to see if it really is better than being surrounded people who I most of the time don't get along with.

So I had a lot more on my mind but after talking to Chris, Jeremy, and Malerie my hate induced rant has been reduced to now all I want to talk about is my day.

So here I go.

In Fact Since I was on the phone for two hours I will fill in the rest tomorrow

Cause I need to get off before my dad starts getting ready for and comes out yelling at me so

But I did have at great conversation with Chris, Jeremy, and Malerie and hope we can do it again tomorrow night..or I mean tomorrow morning :)

YaY!! for party chat!!!

To Be Continued..........

Peace Out!!

I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!

I can't continue to live in this household with my sister and the Fucking Asshole of a person who follows her every FUCKING command. If I continue to live here 1 of 2 things is gonna happen.

1. I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF JUST THAT I DON'T HAVE TO BE AROUND THIS FUCKING SHIT ANYMORE.

or,

2. I AM GOING TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF MY SISTERS BITCH MICHAEL RUSH POSSIBLY FUCKING KILLING HIM. I might not purposefully kill him but all the RAGE and HATRED that has built up over the past year would not allow me to stop hitting him until his body is lifeless under my Hate filled punches.

So in the coming week as I start working, if I cease to Blog or contact any of you I am either Dead or in Jail so just keep that in mind.

Also if you have a solution to get around this(and Jeremy I have to hold back punching him for as long as I can) then please feel free to comment this post.

So until I post my daily blog later tonight...

PEACE THE FUCK OUT!!!


I Wish I Could Move Out Right NOW!!!