Change is MotherF#$%ing Difficult!

"It is easy to tell yourself that you are ready for change but tough as hell to actually change yourself" -ME about 5 hours ago via Google+

The truest words I have typed all day! Its so wonderful to think about all the life changes you want to make but then reality kicks in and you realize that the shit is not going to just happen. You actually need to do shit to accomplish goals, but you are already so use to not doing a goddamn thing and kinda just getting by. You tell your self that everything will work out but if you are not doing anything about it then no, no it will not work out! You will still be a fat piece of shit that just shits around not doing anything to lose weight, continuing to eat shit that you KNOW and TELL yourself every fucking day that you should not eat but you eat it anyway!! Seriously What The Fuck!! I don't know... Maybe I am being a tad hard on myself but fuck it nothing else is fucking working... I will get my Fat ASS to the gym tomorrow whether its LA Fitness or the Gym at the country club I work at. I need to at least start running everyday and get back to lifting. I need to actually use the juicer I bought and eat the vegetables and fruits I fucking bought! I once lost 20lbs in ONE month but somehow I have lost sight of whatever motivation I used to achieve that! I need to find it or another form of motivation! Maybe writing this is stimulating something deep down or maybe I just need to read this every morning to get my self to the gym!

I do not know... But Shit HAS to CHANGE! I can NOT continue to live like this!!!

Over-Hyped/Short Blog

Well today was not nearly as exciting or fun as I was hyping it up to be in my mind, oh well, at least I did not have to work! Now I can not wait til I get paid on Tuesday so I can go out and get a Juicer and start my juice fast. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix called Fat, Sick, Nearly Dead.



I want to start it as soon as possible, on top of that I need to get back in the gym hopefully between the two I should see some pretty extreme results and some real positive changes!

First Night Back Home

Well it is official... I am now living with my parents once again. After I hooked my media station all up all I have been doing is playing Call of Duty: MW2

Other than the fact I really dont have any official bedding arrangements, it kind of feels good to be back home (Like a security blanket) A lot of pressure seems to have been lifted and now I can get to paying off everything I owe and then I will be golden!! I can not wait to not have to worry about what I cant pay every paycheck!

It is 2:00am and I should be asleep cause I work all day tomorrow (10-9) but I will be alright, I might even attempt to go on a run before work so I will let you know how that goes tomorrow... So until then...

Peace. ☮

Home is Where the Heart Is,,,

So once again I find myself returning to my blog... Well a lot has been happening and I guess that is one reason I have returned, but also because now that will be back living with my parents it almost feels like I should (also thinking of vlogging again) There are a lot of Pros/Cons that come with this move but ultimately it is the best thing for me to do and I am a little excited. Not only do I finally have (stable) internet again but I really do like hanging with my family, of course in a couple weeks I will be complaining about no privacy and my shitty bed arrangement but hopefully the fact that I wont be living paycheck to paycheck will help to offset those cons. Now that I wont be responsible for $300 in rent and after one more payment my car will paid off (which is another $320 a month) I will finally be able to save again. Take into account that I will be working full time during season again (I didnt last season because of school) and all the money that will be staying in my bank account, I will finally get out of this hole I have been in for months now, the relief from that will be so satisfying.

After I am completely moved back in (tomorrow night hopefully) I can put my focus back on getting healthy and again getting out of debt. I need to start hitting the gym everyday again and eating healthy, which reminds me that when I get paid in a week I want to buy a juicer and go on a fruits/vegetable juice fast. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix call "Fat, Sick, Nearly Dead" and the couple of guys it focused on lost extreme amounts of weight in around 60 days although they saw drastic losses after 10-30 days. So I am hoping that no matter how long I can last on it that it will hyper reboot my body and completely clean myself out and super nourish my body so that the running and lifting I will be doing will be even more effective!

Its funny I have been fairly down for the past couple weeks, with all these different people calling for money and my phone company threatening to turn my phone off (again) but the past few days after I came to the conclusion that I needed and would move back in with my parents I have felt happier and more optimistic. Everything will be alright... It is not the end of the world... soon this will have passed and I will be on the other side happier than ever.

So yea once I do get to the other side of season and I have all this money saved up (hopefully) I want to take an extended vacation to Georgia to visit my favorite people in the world. When I am up there though I might look and feel around for jobs just to get an idea if it is even plausible to make to jump. I mean I do have friends here and I really do not want to abandon them but I honestly believe I need a change of scenery and maybe the month long vacation will suffice but in case it does not, I should be prepared. Another thing is that I have been thinking about applying to ITT for their Drafting and Design program but if I move to Georgia the only campus is in Atlanta 2 hours from where I would be living, but if I stay here there is one like 20 minutes away, just something else I need to factor in.

The reason I always find myself coming back is that when you really need to get something out but you really do not want to talk to anyone about it face to face, you can always just put it here. Not only that but everything is archived and it really is a trip to read things a year old and sort of realize that things either have or have not changed all that much for better or for worse...

So until next time...

Peace. ☮

Postponed Canoe Trip Leads to Free Day

Like the title says I was supposed to have gone canoeing today but was postponed due to "lack of participation"

So with nothing urgent planned for today I didn't get up and around til around 11:30am. I eventually made my way to my moms house to hang out with my sister and Clayton (my new favorite pastime) We were trying to figure out what we were gonna do with day and I wanted to hit up the mall for some different gauges and I also ended up buying Star Wars: The Force Unleaded. On the way home I made a detour to our car insurance place, they needed a copy of my registration.

After we got home katie gave her boyfriend Clayton a haircut before we headed to the pool for some fun. We played with a volleyball and just hung out, we eventually got bored and went back to the house to watch Requiem for a Dream... Holy fucking shit that movie is fucked up lol I've always heard about it but I'm really glad I've finally watched it, it was pretty amazing.

After the movie we decided to go to the gym (its a little bit easier for me to if other people also wanna go) so the three of us hit it hard. I started with a mile run then all legs, Leg press, some calf exercises, then up and the stairs while holding weights (its great for cardio and the legs) then I finished with some abs. We left after all that and now I'm home with no internet so ill post this tomorrow when I should get my phone turned back on yay! Well work in the a.m. so until then...

Peace.

Busy Sunday!... oh and USA Lost!

Well had to be up around 8am and needed to be to work by 9am. Mission Accomplished! I thought it would be nice and slow at work maybe do like 20 people or whatever, well we ended up doing close to 80 and when its only one server and me it gets pretty frickin crazy! A bonus was that time sort of flew by and before we knew it we were heading out the door at 3.

I had to rush home for the World Cup Final! and what a game it was, just like all the other USA games it was drama filled and unfortunately they fell to Japan when it came down to PKs (Penalty Kicks for those not cultured lol) Was a little upset but Japan played a great game and hung in there, well deserved for country in turmoil.

So around 6:30 I headed up to my parents house to hang out, use the internet and watch Big Brother at 8pm with my mom. So up until 8 i just hung out with my sister and her boyfriend listening to music and stuff. Then it was time for Big Brother! Man I love that show (the only Reality TV Game Show ive kept up with).

Now ive just been in my sisters room hanging out and watching movies listening to music and now we are watching Community! (prob my favorite sitcom ever) Im prob gonna leave soon cause im tired although I was supposed to be going on a canoe trip tomorrow but it got postponed so now its a free day and I might go to the mall and buy some gauges for my ear. Oh yea I have started gauging my ears lol Im currently at a 10G which is really quite small but ill get bigger in time. Well tomorrow should be a better blog day lol so until next time...

Peace.

Finding Inspiration in Old Blog Posts

Well currently I don't have access to internet (sad panda) I steal from my neighbour but he doesn't always have it on. (So ill post this in the morning)

Tonight I thought I would download the Blogger app just for the hell of it and ended up reading a lot of old posts! It reminded me that its good to have a record of your life to look back on for nostalgia purposes but also to see where and how far you've come.

Today was extremely boring but sometimes you need days like that, mainly hung out with my sister and her boyfriend just listening to music and what not. Although finally around 9 we headed out to some bar South Street in Naples (filled with a lot of hot women *note to self visit that place more often!!) We were there to support a band my sister and have seen locally oh and I use to work with the bassist at Gamestop! Lol They were great and was really fun! Hopefully next time ill go hang out the whole time and get a little drunk (I was too broke tonight) but now I'm tired and have to be to work at 9am and then canoe trip on Monday. So until next time...

Peace.