As of right now I am not going to write a full blog because I am still really sick but as soon as I soon as I get better I will return with full blogs, which will be very soon....
Peace Out!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Questions?/A Little Meltdown
I have failed to write a Blog all weekend, mainly because I was either not at my house or because I was super tired and didn't feel like writing one.
Now I know in previous posts I have talked about me not looking to far into the future and trying to take my life one day at a time. But as I sit at my house alone I can't help but ponder what is in store for me in the coming year, I am not trying to make plans but simply run all the different possibilities that my life can go through my head. Will I be moved out if this house by the beginning of next year? If not, then how long will it possibly be before we [Jeremy, Eric and I] get our shit together and be absolutely ready to move out? Will I be able to handle it not just financially but mentally and emotionally? What do I need to do to get ready to support myself? I could keep going and going with questions that I constantly ask myself. On my days off with no money that is my hobby, ask my self questions and come up with multiple scenarios whether it be positive or negative(yea I know what a sad hobby) but this coming Friday I will get my first "real" paycheck and again I find myself questioning. After gas money what do I have left? How much do I need to put away towards Black Friday? Should I use some of this money to start socializing again/have fun? If I use up this paycheck will I have enough money for Black Friday with whatever paychecks I will receive between now and then? So I constantly am trying to figure out the best possible outcome for myself(oh shit that would be considered planning ahead) screw it I can't live day by day that's not the kind of person that I am. I have to completely think every decision through(I guess it would take me forever to play Fable 2) I have to think about every possible outcome and the consequences that would follow. When I go into a situation I love already knowing what I need to do for the best result(I think that is why I never acted on my hatred towards Michael Rush, because I thought about what would happen if I in fact did act on my gut instincts[which was to kill him]) With so many situations to think about coming up in the next few months, I have been going crazy thinking about what I need to do to be happy with my life.
Going back to our possible moving out, this weekend I realized something we are a lot farther from moving out than we thought again not financially but mentally and emotionally. The three of us are very different and we are all at different stages. Eric- has a job and has had it awhile so he actually has money saved up, but I feel that he really doesn't care if he moves out or not because he has a pretty easy life as of right now. From what I have seen he has a great relationship with his parents and usually does or gets pretty much what he wants, overall he is very content with his situation in life. Jeremy- used to be able to get what he wanted but now that the economy has taken a dive and his dad is being a JEW(about his money) and the fact that he doesn't have a "real" job stacked on top of crushing bills, Jeremy wants to get out of his current situation more than I do. With a decaying relationship with his dad and a slowly growing relationship with his mom he wants to get out but would not be able to support himself with what he makes cleaning with his mom alone. Me- now it is my turn to analyze myself and I will try to be bias. So my situation is kind of in the middle of the previous two, I have been at my job for about two and a half weeks and so far has only received $85 so far but I will be getting increasingly bigger paychecks the further I get into season. Now I do not have a really good relationship with my parents especially of late because they have technically stole $3,000 from me. On the outside it would seem everything is alright but I put on a rouge to make it easier to live here for as long as I have to, if I were to call them out and start telling them how I honestly feel than I suspect it would be an even greater hell to live in than it is now. But I truly don't have a person that I can honestly talk to about anything I feel I must always keep stuff in no matter who I am talking to. I don't know I just find so much comfort in keeping to myself, now don't get me wrong I absolutely love hanging out with true friends like Jeremy and Chris and Eric. I almost feel as if I am destined to be alone and it sucks so bad cause though I find comfort in myself I don't believe that I could be alone my whole life. I always think about will I find that someone that I can truly love and truly love me in return, but I also think about who could honestly love me I mean seriously I can't see myself with a girlfriend or wife. I disgust myself. I have actually cried myself to sleep thinking about all this stuff, I so desperately want change but to do it I need to get out of this house, being in this house and this family holds me down and makes me keep living this horrible life that I don't wanna live, that's why I need to get out of here and be the person that I wanna be I am tired of living this lie of a life with my "family". Seriously Fuck this life. Fuck this family. Fuck this house. Fuck my existence in this world. It is not like anyone honestly would know I was gone except maybe my close friends, I know my family could care less. I don't want to do this anymore I don't want to act on a daily basis. I don't want to act like I care anymore. I don't even want to finish this blog anymore.......
Fuck this shit I need a way out, I need to get out of this house and away from this family I cant fucking take this anymore. I am doomed to loneliness, I don't know what to do anymore I hate that I have to continue this shitty life. And now I fear that I will be trapped in it indefinitely. Once I leave I am never ever coming back whatever fuck this shit
Fuck Everyone!
Now I know in previous posts I have talked about me not looking to far into the future and trying to take my life one day at a time. But as I sit at my house alone I can't help but ponder what is in store for me in the coming year, I am not trying to make plans but simply run all the different possibilities that my life can go through my head. Will I be moved out if this house by the beginning of next year? If not, then how long will it possibly be before we [Jeremy, Eric and I] get our shit together and be absolutely ready to move out? Will I be able to handle it not just financially but mentally and emotionally? What do I need to do to get ready to support myself? I could keep going and going with questions that I constantly ask myself. On my days off with no money that is my hobby, ask my self questions and come up with multiple scenarios whether it be positive or negative(yea I know what a sad hobby) but this coming Friday I will get my first "real" paycheck and again I find myself questioning. After gas money what do I have left? How much do I need to put away towards Black Friday? Should I use some of this money to start socializing again/have fun? If I use up this paycheck will I have enough money for Black Friday with whatever paychecks I will receive between now and then? So I constantly am trying to figure out the best possible outcome for myself(oh shit that would be considered planning ahead) screw it I can't live day by day that's not the kind of person that I am. I have to completely think every decision through(I guess it would take me forever to play Fable 2) I have to think about every possible outcome and the consequences that would follow. When I go into a situation I love already knowing what I need to do for the best result(I think that is why I never acted on my hatred towards Michael Rush, because I thought about what would happen if I in fact did act on my gut instincts[which was to kill him]) With so many situations to think about coming up in the next few months, I have been going crazy thinking about what I need to do to be happy with my life.
Going back to our possible moving out, this weekend I realized something we are a lot farther from moving out than we thought again not financially but mentally and emotionally. The three of us are very different and we are all at different stages. Eric- has a job and has had it awhile so he actually has money saved up, but I feel that he really doesn't care if he moves out or not because he has a pretty easy life as of right now. From what I have seen he has a great relationship with his parents and usually does or gets pretty much what he wants, overall he is very content with his situation in life. Jeremy- used to be able to get what he wanted but now that the economy has taken a dive and his dad is being a JEW(about his money) and the fact that he doesn't have a "real" job stacked on top of crushing bills, Jeremy wants to get out of his current situation more than I do. With a decaying relationship with his dad and a slowly growing relationship with his mom he wants to get out but would not be able to support himself with what he makes cleaning with his mom alone. Me- now it is my turn to analyze myself and I will try to be bias. So my situation is kind of in the middle of the previous two, I have been at my job for about two and a half weeks and so far has only received $85 so far but I will be getting increasingly bigger paychecks the further I get into season. Now I do not have a really good relationship with my parents especially of late because they have technically stole $3,000 from me. On the outside it would seem everything is alright but I put on a rouge to make it easier to live here for as long as I have to, if I were to call them out and start telling them how I honestly feel than I suspect it would be an even greater hell to live in than it is now. But I truly don't have a person that I can honestly talk to about anything I feel I must always keep stuff in no matter who I am talking to. I don't know I just find so much comfort in keeping to myself, now don't get me wrong I absolutely love hanging out with true friends like Jeremy and Chris and Eric. I almost feel as if I am destined to be alone and it sucks so bad cause though I find comfort in myself I don't believe that I could be alone my whole life. I always think about will I find that someone that I can truly love and truly love me in return, but I also think about who could honestly love me I mean seriously I can't see myself with a girlfriend or wife. I disgust myself. I have actually cried myself to sleep thinking about all this stuff, I so desperately want change but to do it I need to get out of this house, being in this house and this family holds me down and makes me keep living this horrible life that I don't wanna live, that's why I need to get out of here and be the person that I wanna be I am tired of living this lie of a life with my "family". Seriously Fuck this life. Fuck this family. Fuck this house. Fuck my existence in this world. It is not like anyone honestly would know I was gone except maybe my close friends, I know my family could care less. I don't want to do this anymore I don't want to act on a daily basis. I don't want to act like I care anymore. I don't even want to finish this blog anymore.......
I lie here alone and wonder why
That I come alive, just before I have to hide.
Because I believe I'm losing my nerve
But could I ever do better than this
Because all I ever wanted was a place to call my home
To shelter me when I am there and to miss me when I'm gone
All I ever wanted was a place to call my own
Where stars will dance and sun still shines and the storms feel free to roam
If there's a way to a remedy then lead me straight to it
If there's a path or a door I missed , then show me now, show me this
Fuck this shit I need a way out, I need to get out of this house and away from this family I cant fucking take this anymore. I am doomed to loneliness, I don't know what to do anymore I hate that I have to continue this shitty life. And now I fear that I will be trapped in it indefinitely. Once I leave I am never ever coming back whatever fuck this shit
Fuck Everyone!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Super Sleepy/The List
So tonight I am really Fucking tired and I am not gonna talk...er type that much tonight. So I am introducing the list blog, it is a step below the lightning blog basically I am just gonna kinda list the things that have happen the past few days and not go into much detail. At least you can get some kind of idea about the past few days of my life.
Wednesday October 22, 2008
It was my day off so during the day I did pretty much nothing except the usual surfing the internet, catching up on videos, and my daily routine. Since I didn't have to work that night I thought I would go with my sister to Estero High's Nite Trax. It was actually really good and I am glad I went. I also yelled out some things through out, like when all the class start chanting their class I started chanting G-R-A-D-U-A-T-E-D.Also after the host went through all the classes and asked them to cheer I yelled out CLASS OF 08!!!! I was expecting some kind of response whether it be boo's or cheers from other graduates that were there but mostly all I heard was *crickets*. And lastly Mrs. Reynolds was one of the hosts and everyone kept screaming about how they love Mrs. Reynolds. So close to the end I got into a screaming match with I think Tyler Bourke(thats who it sounded like) about who loved Mrs. Reynolds more. After that we went to T.B. and then home.
Thursday October 23, 2008
I didn't get out of bed until close to 1p.m. and didn't do much after that except get ready to go to work at 4:30. Work was boring but when I got home I got a call from Eric and it is usually a toss up whether it is gonna be a good call or a call where your like I shouldn't have picked that up.(just kidding) but anyway he asked if I wanted to go over to his house so we could all go to Best Buy tomorrow and play some GHWorld Tour.
Friday October 24, 2008
I am getting even more tired as I go along so all we did today was got up and went to play some Guitar Hero than I went home rested a little bit and went to work. So I really need to go to bed so that tomorrow night I can write a real blog even though this was longer than expected so until tomorrow night....
Peace Out!
Wednesday October 22, 2008
It was my day off so during the day I did pretty much nothing except the usual surfing the internet, catching up on videos, and my daily routine. Since I didn't have to work that night I thought I would go with my sister to Estero High's Nite Trax. It was actually really good and I am glad I went. I also yelled out some things through out, like when all the class start chanting their class I started chanting G-R-A-D-U-A-T-E-D.Also after the host went through all the classes and asked them to cheer I yelled out CLASS OF 08!!!! I was expecting some kind of response whether it be boo's or cheers from other graduates that were there but mostly all I heard was *crickets*. And lastly Mrs. Reynolds was one of the hosts and everyone kept screaming about how they love Mrs. Reynolds. So close to the end I got into a screaming match with I think Tyler Bourke(thats who it sounded like) about who loved Mrs. Reynolds more. After that we went to T.B. and then home.
Thursday October 23, 2008
I didn't get out of bed until close to 1p.m. and didn't do much after that except get ready to go to work at 4:30. Work was boring but when I got home I got a call from Eric and it is usually a toss up whether it is gonna be a good call or a call where your like I shouldn't have picked that up.(just kidding) but anyway he asked if I wanted to go over to his house so we could all go to Best Buy tomorrow and play some GHWorld Tour.
Friday October 24, 2008
I am getting even more tired as I go along so all we did today was got up and went to play some Guitar Hero than I went home rested a little bit and went to work. So I really need to go to bed so that tomorrow night I can write a real blog even though this was longer than expected so until tomorrow night....
Peace Out!
Blah!
I am laying in Erics bed right now, I planned on writing a blog tonight(a real one) but my plans were changed last minute. We have plans tomorrow to hang out at best buy all day to play Guitar Hero World Tour(yea we are losers) so tomorrow night I will write a full blog so until then.............
Peace Out!
Peace Out!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
"Just Take It One Thing At A Time"
To sort of explain my title a little bit. Have you ever had to do something that while looking at it as a whole it seemed daunting and possibly impossible but then you start the task and you just do it one piece at a time or do one thing at a time. Before you know it the task is completed and your left thinking to your self "wow that wasn't nearly as bad as I had originally thought it was gonna be". In the restaurant business(especially as a food runner) you just have to take it one table at a time, just focus on getting that one order out and then move on to the next one and before you know it you have served 130(that's just people that's not counting salads and appetizer plates) people in just under 2 hours. Now I am trying to integrate that philosophy into my own life, I just have to take it one day at a time and not make so many plans down the road because if you do you are only asking for disappointment. As I look at my life and all the things I have planned: Saving Money, Getting a Laptop, and then Moving Out with Jeremy and Eric, It all seems like there is a good chance that it will all fall through but as long as I take it day by day hopefully I can look back and be like "wow I am actually moved out and away from my family and living with Jeremy and Eric" so that was a "short" explanation haha.
Now before I start I want to post a response to Chris' blog because I didn't get a chance to today and since he kinda wrote a long one for me I thought that I would include my response in my blog, so here it goes.
I am also one of the few to experience a brelinner, and I kinda like it cause I don't feel as fat because I am not wasting the day by eating a whole bunch of shit LOL.
I laughed about the sub parenthesis cause last nights blog was the first time I have used them to :D, and why hate on Dewie.
As soon as I buy another 360 I am most definitely buying Dead Space and as for Bioshock I unfortunately never finished(actually I didnt even get that far) but from what I played it was an AMAZING game.
I fully appreciate the shout out and I am glad that I have been rewarded for the hours I put into waiting for your blog even though I would have been up anyway LOL but it is a great thing to read right before I actually go to sleep. I also pride my self on being one of the only ones to completely read all of your blogs no matter how many words.(I hope you do the same:D)
I swear I really need to stop being so lazy and catch up with Chuck it sounds like a show that I would absolutely love and the clips that I see are hysterical. One day my friend I promise I will watch all the previous episodes and catch up. Also I have agreed with you for the most part about Heroes and what they have done lately and I guess I just am not that into it anymore(I mean I still watch it every week but I am not into it enough to do research and things of that sort like I do with LOST[wow I am a nerd maybe not as big of one as Chris' but I am my own kind I guess, not to mention I am using sub parenthesis again] although there will never be another LOST)
I am very happy to see you actually socializing with somebody, there is only so much loneliness a person can take before they snap and I feared you were reaching that threshold.
About the orgy you have nothing to be sorry about, you are 18(legally an adult) you are out on your own in Orlando and you have the right to do whatever you want as long it is kept within legal bounds.
and you already know my position on the video blog we had a text discussion that I really dont feel like copying haha. But as soon as I get a laptop with a webcam I will join you if of course you decide to do it.
OK now I can start on my blog, I am warning you it isn't very long cause the only I really did was work soooo...
I woke up to no music no nothing and fearing the worst I quickly checked my phone to see how late I had slept in, after letting my eyes adjust to the light I realized that it was only noon(Phew!) I got up and walked straight to the computer like I always do( I can't wait to get my laptop so that I can just lay in bed[Uber laziness]) but I noticed something different, it was my sister laying on the couch on a school day. The reason she stayed home was because her face was kinda swollen because she got punched in the football game the previous night, but that wasn't the only reason my guess was that she was still "heartbroken" about Michael(in my opinion she was asking for it so she can't be too sad). So I hopped online and dugg around a little(haha a digg joke[only chris will get that one :( {wow I need to stop all this sub parenthesis wait... now I am in a sub sub parenthesis}]) Seriously I need to stop that! Anyway all I did was watch some videos... oh and last nights episode of Heroes, it was good but up above I explained where I am at with the show. Then 3:30 rolled around and I had to get ready for work so I could be clocked in by 4. OK I forgot to mention this before but the way we all clock in and out is by a device that reads your palm print(a hand scanner) you type in the last 5 digits of your SSN and put your hand on the scanner but you have to make sure that your fingers are touching all the little posts sticking up out of it, anyway its so bad ass and definitely the most creative way of clocking in and out I have ever seen. Back to my day, I got there right on time right as everyone were enjoying some chicken tenders and fries so I grabbed a plate and joined the rest of them. Now on Tuesdays we have live music and this was the first week that it was back outside under the tent in the back of the restaurant, so I had a whole new table layout to memorize luckily for me the table numbers were on the tables. We spent the next hour making sure that everything was ready for the 100+ guests we would have that night. Everyone started showing up around 5/5:30 about the time the band started playing. As everyone was being seated outside I realized how hard of a night it would be(and here is where my title comes from) before I knew it we were underway. I want to make a point, I know how busy restaurants can get I worked at Blue Water Bistro but Rosie's is a totally different kind of busy. At Blue we would do somewhere from 300-500 people but it was spread out over like 5/5 and half hours but at Rosie's we have 100+ but they all come in within a hour or two. So Blue is more people but spread out and Rosie's is not as many but all concentrated into a short time. Anyway I decided to take it one tray at a time and not get flustered over the quantity of people out back getting ready to order. Although having a bad ass executive chef to talk to makes it much easier, we often have little quip battles he will say something witty and then I try to counter with something equal or better(he usually wins LOL) but he is such a cool guy and I am glad he is not a dick like some boss's (ahem Diane)<--- for Jeremy haha. Before I knew it the night was over and I was on my way home to chillax(Chill/Relax) so now I am here finishing this and about to watch House M.D.
oh and after a conversation with Chris I will also ask my readers if they would hate or enjoy watching my fat ass on a video blog I feel that I could possibly be a good personality on film but it would only start out as a experiment and nothing permanent so please give me your honest opinion(although I doubt anyone will... well Chris but I already know that) sooo......
Peace Out!
Damn only 1500 words I was hoping for 2000+ two days in a row, I guess I am not Hays caliber yet but I am getting there.
Now before I start I want to post a response to Chris' blog because I didn't get a chance to today and since he kinda wrote a long one for me I thought that I would include my response in my blog, so here it goes.
I am also one of the few to experience a brelinner, and I kinda like it cause I don't feel as fat because I am not wasting the day by eating a whole bunch of shit LOL.
I laughed about the sub parenthesis cause last nights blog was the first time I have used them to :D, and why hate on Dewie.
As soon as I buy another 360 I am most definitely buying Dead Space and as for Bioshock I unfortunately never finished(actually I didnt even get that far) but from what I played it was an AMAZING game.
I fully appreciate the shout out and I am glad that I have been rewarded for the hours I put into waiting for your blog even though I would have been up anyway LOL but it is a great thing to read right before I actually go to sleep. I also pride my self on being one of the only ones to completely read all of your blogs no matter how many words.(I hope you do the same:D)
I swear I really need to stop being so lazy and catch up with Chuck it sounds like a show that I would absolutely love and the clips that I see are hysterical. One day my friend I promise I will watch all the previous episodes and catch up. Also I have agreed with you for the most part about Heroes and what they have done lately and I guess I just am not that into it anymore(I mean I still watch it every week but I am not into it enough to do research and things of that sort like I do with LOST[wow I am a nerd maybe not as big of one as Chris' but I am my own kind I guess, not to mention I am using sub parenthesis again] although there will never be another LOST)
I am very happy to see you actually socializing with somebody, there is only so much loneliness a person can take before they snap and I feared you were reaching that threshold.
About the orgy you have nothing to be sorry about, you are 18(legally an adult) you are out on your own in Orlando and you have the right to do whatever you want as long it is kept within legal bounds.
and you already know my position on the video blog we had a text discussion that I really dont feel like copying haha. But as soon as I get a laptop with a webcam I will join you if of course you decide to do it.
OK now I can start on my blog, I am warning you it isn't very long cause the only I really did was work soooo...
I woke up to no music no nothing and fearing the worst I quickly checked my phone to see how late I had slept in, after letting my eyes adjust to the light I realized that it was only noon(Phew!) I got up and walked straight to the computer like I always do( I can't wait to get my laptop so that I can just lay in bed[Uber laziness]) but I noticed something different, it was my sister laying on the couch on a school day. The reason she stayed home was because her face was kinda swollen because she got punched in the football game the previous night, but that wasn't the only reason my guess was that she was still "heartbroken" about Michael(in my opinion she was asking for it so she can't be too sad). So I hopped online and dugg around a little(haha a digg joke[only chris will get that one :( {wow I need to stop all this sub parenthesis wait... now I am in a sub sub parenthesis}]) Seriously I need to stop that! Anyway all I did was watch some videos... oh and last nights episode of Heroes, it was good but up above I explained where I am at with the show. Then 3:30 rolled around and I had to get ready for work so I could be clocked in by 4. OK I forgot to mention this before but the way we all clock in and out is by a device that reads your palm print(a hand scanner) you type in the last 5 digits of your SSN and put your hand on the scanner but you have to make sure that your fingers are touching all the little posts sticking up out of it, anyway its so bad ass and definitely the most creative way of clocking in and out I have ever seen. Back to my day, I got there right on time right as everyone were enjoying some chicken tenders and fries so I grabbed a plate and joined the rest of them. Now on Tuesdays we have live music and this was the first week that it was back outside under the tent in the back of the restaurant, so I had a whole new table layout to memorize luckily for me the table numbers were on the tables. We spent the next hour making sure that everything was ready for the 100+ guests we would have that night. Everyone started showing up around 5/5:30 about the time the band started playing. As everyone was being seated outside I realized how hard of a night it would be(and here is where my title comes from) before I knew it we were underway. I want to make a point, I know how busy restaurants can get I worked at Blue Water Bistro but Rosie's is a totally different kind of busy. At Blue we would do somewhere from 300-500 people but it was spread out over like 5/5 and half hours but at Rosie's we have 100+ but they all come in within a hour or two. So Blue is more people but spread out and Rosie's is not as many but all concentrated into a short time. Anyway I decided to take it one tray at a time and not get flustered over the quantity of people out back getting ready to order. Although having a bad ass executive chef to talk to makes it much easier, we often have little quip battles he will say something witty and then I try to counter with something equal or better(he usually wins LOL) but he is such a cool guy and I am glad he is not a dick like some boss's (ahem Diane)<--- for Jeremy haha. Before I knew it the night was over and I was on my way home to chillax(Chill/Relax) so now I am here finishing this and about to watch House M.D.
oh and after a conversation with Chris I will also ask my readers if they would hate or enjoy watching my fat ass on a video blog I feel that I could possibly be a good personality on film but it would only start out as a experiment and nothing permanent so please give me your honest opinion(although I doubt anyone will... well Chris but I already know that) sooo......
Peace Out!
Damn only 1500 words I was hoping for 2000+ two days in a row, I guess I am not Hays caliber yet but I am getting there.
Monday, October 20, 2008
With Extreme Happiness Comes A Big Fuck You!
I just wanted to start because I didn't want to forget the title plus if you read this before my full post hopefully you will be "what the hell does it mean?" well you will find out later tonight because I have a lot to blog about it was an interesting weekend. But for right now I will have to say, so long farewell I will be back later. I am going to the Estero High Powderpuff football game, I remember when I coached the seniors last year.... Good Times!
I am back!
I sure this happens to everyone in some way or another but lately life has just been picking on me, like when your playing fetch with a dog and that one time when you try to fake him out by pretending to throw it and hiding it behind your back. The dog is so excited to be playing and he sees the ball in your and you go through the motion of throwing it and then he is looking around for where the ball should be and then realizes its nowhere to be found and then gets a little sad because the game is over but then looks to you with the ball still in your hand and is mad because you didn't throw but is quickly over and back to the game.(yea that whole paragraph/metaphor is my life LOL) I was so excited for many things this weekend but shortly after getting under way life just flips me the fucking bird and is like FUCK YOU!
Saturday started off like most of my work days, me waking up late and getting on the computer but I was awoken by a familiar but douchey voice(you guessed it Chris Hermi) he told me he was in town and asked what I was doing for the day and I told him work at 5. He said that he was gonna come over for a bit and asked if I wanted something from subway and I eagerly said yes because I had just woken up and was hungry(unlike Hays I feel perfectly fine with using Hermi for free stuff) He made is way over here and we just talked a little and watched some T.V. at about 2 or 2:30 he had to leave and I had to finish my internet stuff before work. I was also excited the whole day because I had made a plan to go up to Peace River to meet up with Jeremy and fam. for his moms birthday. I started getting ready at 4:30 and was out the door by quarter til. I got in and noticed these big platters of fruit and cheese put together in a very decorative manner so I knew something was up after some question and answers I found out that there was a wedding and a pre-reception that was gonna happen out back. At first I thought shit all those people and I am the only food runner for the night but I was informed that they wouldn't come in or be ordering food just the fruit, cheese and other appetizers(I was very relieved) The rest of the night wasn't bad pretty busy for just me(a party of 20 and a 10 top) but I survived. After I got home I quickly got all my shit done wrote the lightning blog and got to sleep.
Sunday - 5:25a.m. I awake to the Sound of Madness(well at least the song) I got up surprisingly easy I think it was the excitement:D(the excitement wouldn't last all day) I jumped in the shower and got all packed for the trip and was out the door by 6:30a.m. I stopped by the gas station to get some necessities for a long drive at the time of the day. Gas... check Energy Drink... check Water... check Snacks... check um... ok lets roll. I got on I-75 and made my way north, I was going a steady 73 mph and put in on cruise. I then pressed the button to accelerate while in cruise and my rpm spiked to 4000 so I quickly stepped on the brake to disengage cruise, not thinking anything of it I continued on. A couple exits I noticed that my car was SMOKING! so I pulled over asap and popped my hood to find a ton of smoke or steam I was uncertain at the time. I called my dad and he said check the oil which I did and realized that there wasn't much *flashbacks to all the times my mother said "check your oil"* I told my dad that I would get off at the next exit and get some oil before making my way all the way to Peace River. The nearest exit had absolutely no stations so I had to go even farther to get to a gas station, fearing I might blow my engine or start smoking again I slowly marched at a steady 55 mph. After being passed by like 20 people I finally came upon an exit with a gas station, as I was putting two quarts of oil in my car I called Jeremy and told him I might be a little bit later than I had planned. After some much needed oil I got back on I-75 thinking that the problem was fixed so I sped up to 73 mph and noticed in my rear view I was smoking AGAIN! I pulled over and called my dad because I had no clue what was wrong with my vehicle he told my it could be my radiator but to check it my car would have to be off and cooled down, he told me to get to the campground and then call him. I continued going about 60 mph trying not to evoke another smoking incident. I finally got to Jeremy and family's camp and had his dad look at it. I showed him the stuff that collected on my back window(which means it had to be steam because smoke does collect on surfaces like that which means it couldn't be an oil problem and my engine wasn't about to blow.. good news) after some further investigation by Jeremy's dad and he finally had a diagnosis for the sickness. It seems that my fairly NEW transmission had a leak somewhere and was leaking transmission fluid *sarcastic yay* after checking the level of fluid in the transmission we found out there was none. We then went to breakfast and went back to camp where Jeremy and I had an hour long or so conversation/argument about jobs, the economy, gamestop, shitty managers/district managers, etc. we all decided to go for a drive Jeremy and his father on four wheelers me and his mom in a golf cart I was unable to drive because I didn't have a yellow wristband. We went out by the lake where i got some really nice pictures. When we got back Jeremy and I played some Uno and hung out while his mom and dad started to pack everything up. But before we could leave we had to get some tran. fluid or I would never make it back without completely fucking up my new $1,400 transmission. After the trip to the auto part store and some fluid we were on our way, me trying to stay under 70 mph. We made it back down to Jeremy's just fine with no smoke outs from my car. We then started unpacking and cleaning Jeremy's ATV. We then went inside where we tried to figure out what to do, I finally convinced Jeremy after like half an hour to watch the 3 hour season finale of LOST(it was awesome I even enjoyed it even though I knew what was going to happen) I LOVE LOST!! At around 10 we decided to get some sleep, I was especially tired because of waking up at 5:30a.m.
Monday - 11:00 (I think)
I again awoke to The Sound of Madness and a phone tossed at my chest, It was my mom on the phone asking what I was doing for the day and when I was expected home. I told her the same thing I always do "I don't know" (I don't know we she always asks me "well then when will you know" because the answer is always I don't know) about an hour of doing nothing went buy when I started reading Chris' blog and came upon the part about Monopoly and it got Jeremy and I thinking about the Star Wars Saga Edition(yes Chris' you may like the O.G.[Original Gansta] version of Monopoly but nothing beats Republic Credits, Buying and selling planets, Jedi and Sith cards, and using fucking Yoda as your game piece[it is better than a boot or car or thimble]) An hour of me sucking and and bad rolls lead me to almost zero money and just about to mortgage all my properties when I just gave up. So we went back to Jeremy's room to do more of nothing when I started pulling up internet video's after an hour of some laughs and WTF's I called it a day and left Jeremy's and headed home. After stopping at good ol' McDonald's I got a call from my mom asking if I wanted to go to my sister's Powderpuff football game, since I had absolutely nothing else planned I was up for it. We got there with plenty of time to spare, the game wasn't too exciting but entertaining at least. I was happier about what I would soon find out about when I got home. So when I got home I had to catch up on 15 pages of top digg stories which took up quite some time, during this my sister had gotten home and went straight to her room. Now to setup this next part I will go into a little past that most of my readers probably know about. OK now a year ago my sister was dating this douche Michael Rush for a couple months and when it had sort of run its course they "broke up" (I put that in parenthesis because no matter how much they denied it they were still pretty much together Michael was still always over here eating all of our food walking in our house like he lived here and doing whatever he wanted like he was a member of this family) So again most of my readers know of my complete distaste and hatred for this person, it was fairly obvious even to Michael himself. Now I know I hate him so much but how my sister was treating him was absolutely wrong and I wouldn't want that on any one. She would always yell at him and boss him around like the bitch that he is. She would use him for his money, transportation and pretty much thing she wanted, the reason being is that my sister wanted him to wait for as long as it took her to want to get back together and he like a fucking idiot said he would. Now I know I am the farthest from a relationship expert but I do a hell of a lot of observing and take in a lot of knowledge and the last thing he should have done was smother her like he did because my sister took all of it and realized that she could get all of the perks of a relationship like being taken care of but not having to deal with the label of taken and the other negatives that come with a relationship. With that said I return to the present, I was on the computer told me that Michael had I guess gotten with some other girl and took her to the powderpuff game and my sister found out and was very upset. Now I know you are thinking what I was thinking "well they weren't "together" so how could my sister be so upset" well because she is a dumb ass and finally realized that she was in a relationship the whole time even though any time you would ask her she would be like "WE ARE JUST FRIENDS" well guess what you weren't and now you know that. So his brother Ray was over here to pick up all the shit of Micheal's that was in my sisters room (wow that sounds like something that would happen after breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend but not if you just stop being friends with someone) anyway I am happy because there will no longer be any douche bagery to make me mad in my own house(high five myself) Now my sister will have to get a real job and her license because she doesn't have someone there to mooch of off for money and rides so finally after the unfairness of mine and her lives it is starting to balance itself out.
I have work tomorrow and it is gonna be a bitch but as long as I keep in mind that I am working toward a better life I can handle anything. Also on Wednesday I have to take my car to the guy that did my transmission and get him to check for anything broken or just knocked loose, I am hoping for the latter because it is way easier and less expensive to fix. So until then...
Peace Out! YAY!! the Douche Bag is Gone Woooo!!!!!
While your at it checkout Randomness of MASSive O
I am back!
I sure this happens to everyone in some way or another but lately life has just been picking on me, like when your playing fetch with a dog and that one time when you try to fake him out by pretending to throw it and hiding it behind your back. The dog is so excited to be playing and he sees the ball in your and you go through the motion of throwing it and then he is looking around for where the ball should be and then realizes its nowhere to be found and then gets a little sad because the game is over but then looks to you with the ball still in your hand and is mad because you didn't throw but is quickly over and back to the game.(yea that whole paragraph/metaphor is my life LOL) I was so excited for many things this weekend but shortly after getting under way life just flips me the fucking bird and is like FUCK YOU!
Saturday started off like most of my work days, me waking up late and getting on the computer but I was awoken by a familiar but douchey voice(you guessed it Chris Hermi) he told me he was in town and asked what I was doing for the day and I told him work at 5. He said that he was gonna come over for a bit and asked if I wanted something from subway and I eagerly said yes because I had just woken up and was hungry(unlike Hays I feel perfectly fine with using Hermi for free stuff) He made is way over here and we just talked a little and watched some T.V. at about 2 or 2:30 he had to leave and I had to finish my internet stuff before work. I was also excited the whole day because I had made a plan to go up to Peace River to meet up with Jeremy and fam. for his moms birthday. I started getting ready at 4:30 and was out the door by quarter til. I got in and noticed these big platters of fruit and cheese put together in a very decorative manner so I knew something was up after some question and answers I found out that there was a wedding and a pre-reception that was gonna happen out back. At first I thought shit all those people and I am the only food runner for the night but I was informed that they wouldn't come in or be ordering food just the fruit, cheese and other appetizers(I was very relieved) The rest of the night wasn't bad pretty busy for just me(a party of 20 and a 10 top) but I survived. After I got home I quickly got all my shit done wrote the lightning blog and got to sleep.
Sunday - 5:25a.m. I awake to the Sound of Madness(well at least the song) I got up surprisingly easy I think it was the excitement:D(the excitement wouldn't last all day) I jumped in the shower and got all packed for the trip and was out the door by 6:30a.m. I stopped by the gas station to get some necessities for a long drive at the time of the day. Gas... check Energy Drink... check Water... check Snacks... check um... ok lets roll. I got on I-75 and made my way north, I was going a steady 73 mph and put in on cruise. I then pressed the button to accelerate while in cruise and my rpm spiked to 4000 so I quickly stepped on the brake to disengage cruise, not thinking anything of it I continued on. A couple exits I noticed that my car was SMOKING! so I pulled over asap and popped my hood to find a ton of smoke or steam I was uncertain at the time. I called my dad and he said check the oil which I did and realized that there wasn't much *flashbacks to all the times my mother said "check your oil"* I told my dad that I would get off at the next exit and get some oil before making my way all the way to Peace River. The nearest exit had absolutely no stations so I had to go even farther to get to a gas station, fearing I might blow my engine or start smoking again I slowly marched at a steady 55 mph. After being passed by like 20 people I finally came upon an exit with a gas station, as I was putting two quarts of oil in my car I called Jeremy and told him I might be a little bit later than I had planned. After some much needed oil I got back on I-75 thinking that the problem was fixed so I sped up to 73 mph and noticed in my rear view I was smoking AGAIN! I pulled over and called my dad because I had no clue what was wrong with my vehicle he told my it could be my radiator but to check it my car would have to be off and cooled down, he told me to get to the campground and then call him. I continued going about 60 mph trying not to evoke another smoking incident. I finally got to Jeremy and family's camp and had his dad look at it. I showed him the stuff that collected on my back window(which means it had to be steam because smoke does collect on surfaces like that which means it couldn't be an oil problem and my engine wasn't about to blow.. good news) after some further investigation by Jeremy's dad and he finally had a diagnosis for the sickness. It seems that my fairly NEW transmission had a leak somewhere and was leaking transmission fluid *sarcastic yay* after checking the level of fluid in the transmission we found out there was none. We then went to breakfast and went back to camp where Jeremy and I had an hour long or so conversation/argument about jobs, the economy, gamestop, shitty managers/district managers, etc. we all decided to go for a drive Jeremy and his father on four wheelers me and his mom in a golf cart I was unable to drive because I didn't have a yellow wristband. We went out by the lake where i got some really nice pictures. When we got back Jeremy and I played some Uno and hung out while his mom and dad started to pack everything up. But before we could leave we had to get some tran. fluid or I would never make it back without completely fucking up my new $1,400 transmission. After the trip to the auto part store and some fluid we were on our way, me trying to stay under 70 mph. We made it back down to Jeremy's just fine with no smoke outs from my car. We then started unpacking and cleaning Jeremy's ATV. We then went inside where we tried to figure out what to do, I finally convinced Jeremy after like half an hour to watch the 3 hour season finale of LOST(it was awesome I even enjoyed it even though I knew what was going to happen) I LOVE LOST!! At around 10 we decided to get some sleep, I was especially tired because of waking up at 5:30a.m.
Monday - 11:00 (I think)
I again awoke to The Sound of Madness and a phone tossed at my chest, It was my mom on the phone asking what I was doing for the day and when I was expected home. I told her the same thing I always do "I don't know" (I don't know we she always asks me "well then when will you know" because the answer is always I don't know) about an hour of doing nothing went buy when I started reading Chris' blog and came upon the part about Monopoly and it got Jeremy and I thinking about the Star Wars Saga Edition(yes Chris' you may like the O.G.[Original Gansta] version of Monopoly but nothing beats Republic Credits, Buying and selling planets, Jedi and Sith cards, and using fucking Yoda as your game piece[it is better than a boot or car or thimble]) An hour of me sucking and and bad rolls lead me to almost zero money and just about to mortgage all my properties when I just gave up. So we went back to Jeremy's room to do more of nothing when I started pulling up internet video's after an hour of some laughs and WTF's I called it a day and left Jeremy's and headed home. After stopping at good ol' McDonald's I got a call from my mom asking if I wanted to go to my sister's Powderpuff football game, since I had absolutely nothing else planned I was up for it. We got there with plenty of time to spare, the game wasn't too exciting but entertaining at least. I was happier about what I would soon find out about when I got home. So when I got home I had to catch up on 15 pages of top digg stories which took up quite some time, during this my sister had gotten home and went straight to her room. Now to setup this next part I will go into a little past that most of my readers probably know about. OK now a year ago my sister was dating this douche Michael Rush for a couple months and when it had sort of run its course they "broke up" (I put that in parenthesis because no matter how much they denied it they were still pretty much together Michael was still always over here eating all of our food walking in our house like he lived here and doing whatever he wanted like he was a member of this family) So again most of my readers know of my complete distaste and hatred for this person, it was fairly obvious even to Michael himself. Now I know I hate him so much but how my sister was treating him was absolutely wrong and I wouldn't want that on any one. She would always yell at him and boss him around like the bitch that he is. She would use him for his money, transportation and pretty much thing she wanted, the reason being is that my sister wanted him to wait for as long as it took her to want to get back together and he like a fucking idiot said he would. Now I know I am the farthest from a relationship expert but I do a hell of a lot of observing and take in a lot of knowledge and the last thing he should have done was smother her like he did because my sister took all of it and realized that she could get all of the perks of a relationship like being taken care of but not having to deal with the label of taken and the other negatives that come with a relationship. With that said I return to the present, I was on the computer told me that Michael had I guess gotten with some other girl and took her to the powderpuff game and my sister found out and was very upset. Now I know you are thinking what I was thinking "well they weren't "together" so how could my sister be so upset" well because she is a dumb ass and finally realized that she was in a relationship the whole time even though any time you would ask her she would be like "WE ARE JUST FRIENDS" well guess what you weren't and now you know that. So his brother Ray was over here to pick up all the shit of Micheal's that was in my sisters room (wow that sounds like something that would happen after breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend but not if you just stop being friends with someone) anyway I am happy because there will no longer be any douche bagery to make me mad in my own house(high five myself) Now my sister will have to get a real job and her license because she doesn't have someone there to mooch of off for money and rides so finally after the unfairness of mine and her lives it is starting to balance itself out.
I have work tomorrow and it is gonna be a bitch but as long as I keep in mind that I am working toward a better life I can handle anything. Also on Wednesday I have to take my car to the guy that did my transmission and get him to check for anything broken or just knocked loose, I am hoping for the latter because it is way easier and less expensive to fix. So until then...
Peace Out! YAY!! the Douche Bag is Gone Woooo!!!!!
While your at it checkout Randomness of MASSive O
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Peaceful Peace River!
So am going to adopt Chris' lightening blog because tonight I really need to be in bed ASAP because I will be waking up at 5:30 to get ready and then head up to Peace River to hang with Jeremy and family for his mother's birthday. I even got her a card(a funny one). Also for Chris, Hermi was over at my house earlier today and forgot his debit and he wants me to drop it off before I go up to Peace River but if he wants it he can get his lazy ass down here and get it I am not wasting anymore gas than I need to.
So.... the last few days have been quite boring just the same old wake up somewhere between 12pm and 2pm then diddle daddle online then go to work come home diddle daddle some more then not get to bed until 3am or 4am then wake up and repeat. I have still not heard anything from Target I guess they still haven't gotten the results of my drug test. Anyway I will call them tomorrow. So I won't be able to blog until probably Tuesday night because I will be at Jeremy's Monday night (I hope we watch Iron Man on Blu Ray) So until then..... Have a Peaceful Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday
Peace Out!
(WOW! a lot of Peace in today's blog)
Edit: I wanted to leave you all a video I insist you watch it it is very good.
Obama '08 - Vote For Hope from MC Yogi on Vimeo.
So.... the last few days have been quite boring just the same old wake up somewhere between 12pm and 2pm then diddle daddle online then go to work come home diddle daddle some more then not get to bed until 3am or 4am then wake up and repeat. I have still not heard anything from Target I guess they still haven't gotten the results of my drug test. Anyway I will call them tomorrow. So I won't be able to blog until probably Tuesday night because I will be at Jeremy's Monday night (I hope we watch Iron Man on Blu Ray) So until then..... Have a Peaceful Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday
Peace Out!
(WOW! a lot of Peace in today's blog)
Edit: I wanted to leave you all a video I insist you watch it it is very good.
Obama '08 - Vote For Hope from MC Yogi on Vimeo.
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